One Saturday night during our regular weekly date, Tom made me laugh so hard my ribs hurt for days.
It was December and the babysitter came at 6:30 like always. It had been a hard week, I don’t remember why, but I really needed to get out and I needed to connect with Tom.
And I needed to laugh. Tom could always make me laugh.
I got dressed up and we ate at a nice restaurant. Our sensible Buick had two empty child seats in the back which meant we were free all night! When our dinner ended at about 8:30, we got in the car and the conversation went something like this:
Tom: “Welp, I guess there’s nothing else to do, so we’ll head home.”
Me: “Hu uh, no way. I don’t want to go home til I’m sure the babies are asleep. I got dressed up. Let’s go downtown to a bar for an hour or so. Let’s see other adults for a little bit longer.
T: I work ALL week with other adults. I just want to be home.
ME: I work ALL week with our children, I just want to be out.
(Long Pause)
Me: Ya know…
T: Oh boy, here we go…
Me: We’re not spontaneous anymore. This isn’t exciting. We’ve been out and it’s been lovely, but let’s do something CRAZY!!
T: No. You knew what you were getting when you married me.
Me: I know, I’m not complaining. I just need some FUN tonight!! As soon as we get home, I have to be a wholesome Mommy again. I’m not ready for that…
Meanwhile, as we’re having this discussion, we’re circling the bars seeing which ones we might go into (if I can talk him into it.) There is one that is known for being a little rowdy and that night it had a crowd of bikers rough housing out on the sidewalk in front.
As we’re driving passed:
T: Is that the kind of excitement you want?
Me: Yeah, at least there’s some adrenaline going on. I’m about to flatline here.
T: Really?
Me: yep. (Yawn)
T: I have this new heavy metal CD in the CD player. I’m going to drive by again, roll down my window, and blast it- THAT’S crazy! We’ll be lucky if we don’t get shot at or at least have bottles thrown at the car. There’s some adrenaline for ya!
M: mmmhmmm, yep, I’ll believe it when I see it…
So he circles the block a little too fast and then slows way down in front of the rowdy bar. He rolls his window down and hangs his arm out “American Graffiti” style. He looks at me and nods coolly, like he knows something I don’t.
As we’re slowly rolling by in our trusty family wagon he presses PLAY.
The music comes on blaring. It is SO loud. Everyone turns to look.
It wasn’t the heavy metal cd like he thought, though.
It was the Mary Poppins soundtrack playing Chim Chim Cheree. LOUD!
He shot me a panicked look, like, “Oops, I forgot! I played this for the kids earlier!”
Simultaneously, I shot him a look that said, “See, you don’t have it in you. This children’s music confirms that WE ARE BORING!”
He read my thought instantly.
I saw fight or flight in his eyes. I couldn’t predict his next move. It was new territory! THIS was ADRENALINE!
He threw his upper body out of the window right in front of the crowd, and YELLED along to the chorus:
🎶 “A sweep is as lucky as lucky can be.” 🎶
and then he ended with a really strong:
“Chim Chimery MOTHER F***ERS!!!!
He flung his body back in, rolled up the window and looked at me, smiling. He buffed his nails on his preppy sweater vest, satisfied- a job well done.
“How’s that for spontaneous???”
I looked at him with wide eyes and a giant smile. “Oh my gosh!”, I said laughing, “NOW we can go home!!”
Some of the guys out front thought that the Dad in the family truckster had yelled obscenities at them and started coming towards us. So, we high tailed it out if there! We didn’t have bottles thrown at us and we didn’t get shot at, though. (Wouldn’t that have been a great addition to the story? I would’ve loved answering the question “Why is Tom’s car in the body shop?” I could’ve said, “Well, we got shot at because he was singing Mary Poppins downtown.”)
But we laughed and laughed and laughed.
We were home by 9:00 that night. And we were sore, and our ribs ached and our faces hurt from laughing so hard. Our voices scratchy from the laughter.
It was funny. So funny. So shocking that he : A) would think to do it at all and B) use that word (he wasn’t much of a cusser). We fell asleep laughing and we woke up the next morning laughing. I needed that random act of spontaneity and silliness to get me through another winter week with toddlers.
Is it ridiculous that that 30 seconds of silliness changed everything that night? Yes. Isn’t it great though that something that simple can change everything?
It is easy to get overwhelmed with parenthood and adulthood, with jobs and bills, ear infections and pink eye, dirty diapers and spit up. And then later, puberty, homework and science projects.
Sometimes, throughout our marriage when stress was at its highest and life was getting hard we would pass each other in the hallway or the kitchen and whisper, “Chim Chimery Motherf***ers!!”
It was our secret little code reminding us that, yes, life can be unexciting and uneventful. It will get hard and messy. We will get caught in the everyday minutiae of surviving, but we were going to be okay.
And we were fun! We were spontaneous! And even though we drove a reliable family sedan and enjoyed the Mary Poppins soundtrack we were gonna LAUGH til it hurt!!
And we did. Often.
And even writing this now, although my throat is hot with tears, I am smiling.
And I sigh to myself, “Chim Chimery Mothef***ers…
