I just started listening to “Untamed” by Glennon Doyle while I’m running today.
She’s telling her dying Grandmother goodbye. Saying her last words, remembering all of the happy moments, touching all of her Grandmother’s things. Remembering that there is life within death. She explains her closure beautifully.
And it makes me sad. Then I remember I didn’t get to say all of that to Tom.
My exact last words were: “I love you. See you in a bit.” And then they whisked him away.
I was scared shitless. But I wanted to sound casual because I didn’t want to scare him. I didn’t want him to know how scared I was.
Those were my last thoughts and my last words.
And I’m sobbing now on the side of a country road with my dog and I’m writing this before I forget it and I think to myself, “Good girl, let it out. Let as much sadness seap out today as you need. Right here. Right now. We have all day. Thata girl.”
For some reason I needed Glennon’s Grandma story today. The timing was perfect.
Thanks Glennon.
(Extra information: I felt better after my little crying seizure on the side of the road, and I realized this story is a country song. I giggled thinking that it only needed to start raining and for me to drive a tractor the rest of the way home with a beer in my hand to make it the perfect country song.)
