Every. Song.

Remember when I said I was happy that my kids have been singing in the shower again?

Their taste in music changes weekly it seems.

One kid has the most interesting mix of songs from the 60s, 90s and early 2000s.

The other kid has been listening to an FM station that plays old school country rock (is that what it’s called??) with bands like Leonard Skynard, Credence Clearwater Revival.

It’s just killing me tonight.  All of the songs have been reminders of Tom.  We’d been together for 27 years, so we’ve heard all of these songs and I seem to have memories of hearing every song with him.

I love each one as it comes on, but it hits me with a new memory or it reminds me of a specific time.  Bruno Mars- driving to the pool with him and the kids.  Patsy Kline- our early days hanging out in a small town bar.  Jimmy Buffett- well, everything (he used to love Jimmy Buffett) 

I’m sobbing in the living room as they get ready for bed.  The wonderful music and the great songs go on for an hour or so.

But tonight.  

I just can’t.

Each song is a memory, a time machine.

(Thank goodness though, as I have been writing this, one of Tom’s friends texted.  She is checking in with me and thinking about Tom. Her timing couldn’t be more perfect.  Didn’t I say he had great friends?)

Author: Admin

I was happily married for almost 24 years. My husband and I had were raising two children. Shortly before our 24th anniversary, Tom died suddenly of heart attack. My world stopped. With kids (ages 16 and 13) there isn't the luxury of mourning at my own pace. I had to roll up my sleeves and help each with their own grief all the while managing mine. It is very hard. I am sad that some of you may have found this blog as you are trying to navigate your own traumatic event. Let me be here for you. Grief is fickle. Just when you think you are strong enough to manage a second, a minute, an hour, Grief changes her mind and punches you in the gut. You are not alone. I'm going through it, too. I am here for you.

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