Tom’s Conversation With God

(Nothing makes losing Tom any easier, but sometimes my imagination gets the best of me. I imagine him having conversations with God and discussing the reasoning for all of this. It’s a mystery, I know. It makes me happy for a second when I think that they are both cheering me on.)

T: Why did it go like this?

G: Because she was going to support you and help you and be the best mom and wife she could be. FOR YOU!

T: She was… is.  That’s why I don’t understand.

G: She couldn’t do what I need her to do while you were there.

T: That’s just cruel.  I want to be there.  She wants me to be there!  I always supported her fully with any choices she made.

G: I know.  But she needed different choices, so she could realize her strength. Meanwhile, I have a job for you up here.  That’s why I called you a little earlier than originally planned. It’s very important and I’m going to keep you busy for a while.  And then, when the time is right, we’ll look down. You won’t believe what you see!

T: She is strong and stubborn and just…wonderful.  She’s always late, though.  Do you think she’ll get these tasks you speak of started on time?

G: Oh yes, she’s already started.  She is tough! She is smart and she is just about to amaze everyone with her strength.

T: She’s always been full of surprises—that is one of the reasons I married her!

G: We’ll wait and you’ll see.  We have nothing to worry about.  She loves your children to her core. The Momma Bear is awake.  She’s got this!

T: I’m already so proud of her.

Author: Admin

I was happily married for almost 24 years. My husband and I had were raising two children. Shortly before our 24th anniversary, Tom died suddenly of heart attack. My world stopped. With kids (ages 16 and 13) there isn't the luxury of mourning at my own pace. I had to roll up my sleeves and help each with their own grief all the while managing mine. It is very hard. I am sad that some of you may have found this blog as you are trying to navigate your own traumatic event. Let me be here for you. Grief is fickle. Just when you think you are strong enough to manage a second, a minute, an hour, Grief changes her mind and punches you in the gut. You are not alone. I'm going through it, too. I am here for you.

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