I Miss His Hugs

I really miss Tom’s hugs. I can do this widowhood thing.  I hate it, but I have to do it, and I can do it.  I just could really use his hugs right now.  His “your day has really sucked, I’ll give you my support, you give me your stress hug”. The hug that could take as long as I wanted it to.  I called them “soul hugs.”  They were strong, warm, full body hugs.  The type where I really felt like he was holding all my weight.  And through the duration of the hug I could feel my worries subside. I would feel so much better just knowing I had his support. Physically, mentally, emotionally.

I need one of his hugs so bad right now. I want him to make it all better just for a few minutes anyway.

He would so happily take my stress from me and give me his strength in one simple hug transaction.  If I could just hug him now, for even a couple minutes a day, I could do all this just fine.  That’s how strong and supportive he was.

Even a few seconds of a good soul hug gave me enough courage, strength and somehow wisdom to continue on.  
The thing is, I had no idea what stress was back then.  

Isn’t that ironic.

Author: Admin

I was happily married for almost 24 years. My husband and I had were raising two children. Shortly before our 24th anniversary, Tom died suddenly of heart attack. My world stopped. With kids (ages 16 and 13) there isn't the luxury of mourning at my own pace. I had to roll up my sleeves and help each with their own grief all the while managing mine. It is very hard. I am sad that some of you may have found this blog as you are trying to navigate your own traumatic event. Let me be here for you. Grief is fickle. Just when you think you are strong enough to manage a second, a minute, an hour, Grief changes her mind and punches you in the gut. You are not alone. I'm going through it, too. I am here for you.

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