Changing The Sheets

Do I wash his pillowcase?

I did the first time I washed sheets after he died.  I felt like I would be doing him a disservice if I didn’t wash his pillowcase.

Now I know he’s not coming back.  The kids aren’t going to sneak in for comfort in the middle of the night.

His pillow, therefore his pillowcase is entirely unused.

So I chose not to wash it.  I got used to it.  It felt okay.

But then, the first sunny fifty degree day this Spring, I washed my sheets and I was so looking forward to hanging them on the clothesline.  There is nothing like that- the fresh sleep and the fresh smell that lingers for a few days in the sheets.  It’s so peaceful.

I wasn’t prepared for how that would look on the clothesline.  Ridiculous I know.  But seeing that one pillowcase alongside giant California King size sheets fluttering in the breeze was a reality I wasn’t ready for.  

It seemed symbolic of my aloneness. 

One pillowcase.

Not even that it is just one pillowcase, I guess.  

It’s just that his wasn’t there.

Author: Admin

I was happily married for almost 24 years. My husband and I had were raising two children. Shortly before our 24th anniversary, Tom died suddenly of heart attack. My world stopped. With kids (ages 16 and 13) there isn't the luxury of mourning at my own pace. I had to roll up my sleeves and help each with their own grief all the while managing mine. It is very hard. I am sad that some of you may have found this blog as you are trying to navigate your own traumatic event. Let me be here for you. Grief is fickle. Just when you think you are strong enough to manage a second, a minute, an hour, Grief changes her mind and punches you in the gut. You are not alone. I'm going through it, too. I am here for you.

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