I had to meet someone I didn’t know. We’d only had conversations by text or phone and arranged to meet at a coffee shop. She said she’ll be the one with the bright green coat.
I was thinking of a characteristic she could identify me by so we could easily spot each other. My immediate thought was, “I’ll be the one with the broken heart.” Luckily, before the thought crossed my lips as words, I stopped them. After a weird pause, I just said, “Okay.”
I met her and it was fine.
However, I couldn’t stop wondering if I look as sad as I feel. When I walk into the coffee shop or grocery store or wherever, can people tell I’m broken-hearted? I especially wonder about the places I go to regularly where the people know my face but know nothing about me. Do they think, “I wonder what happened. Something is different.”
I definitely feel different. I used to look up. Can people tell that I’m changed?
The coffee shop where I am a regular— can they tell I am different? That deep down into the core of my body I am forever altered. That I am just the shell of who I used to be? That I go there for the caffeine because I stayed up too late the night before? That I get a salad to go three times a week because I wouldn’t feel like eating anything otherwise? Do they wonder where the sparkle in my eyes and the strength in my back went?
Can people tell just by looking at me that I’m the one with the broken heart?
